1: Are you worrying about things that could happen in future related to a decision you made recently? For example, the home value going down on your purchase on an investment property.
2. Do you still have unpleasant thoughts today about a decision you made in the past? For example, deciding to move out of your parents house or agreeing to date someone.
3: Does the question “should I have done that?” popup in your mind when you think about a decision you made in the past? For example, deciding to let go of a money debt of a friend or selling your business or the iPad purchase you made on black friday.
4. In conversations with family, friends or colleagues, do you frequently apologize for the decision you made concerning them? For example, you unable to attend a important occasion, party or meeting?
5: Are you blaming others for the consequences of decisions or events? For example, the loss with your stock investments or promotion at work.
6. Are you experiencing low-level stress related to a decision? For example, after a job change or divorce or a relationship.
7. Do you believe that goal setting does not work, since it has not worked for you in the past? For example, you do not believe in setting new years goals around weight loss or .
8. When you learn of an outcome involving you, do you react with “why did that happen”. For example, in an instance where your customer returning a product.
9. Do you constantly talk about how “things should have been” on past issues? For example, you dwell on how you should have dealt with relationships.
10. Do you feel bad after saying “No” to a request made to you by a friend, relative or colleague? For example, you decline when a colleague asking you to do some work or a friend asking you to give a ride.
If you answered ‘YES’ to any of the above questions, you are likely experiencing symptoms of DECISION REMORSE.
Decision remorse is that uneasy, unhappy feeling that can reside in your head, chest or gut depending on the severity. On extreme cases it can lead to depression or Borderline Personality disorder (BPD).
On symptom #6, low-level stress is the number one killer in USA. It has been called the ‘Silent killer’ or ‘Slow poison’ for a reason. It kills more people that road accidents, is the cause of heart attacks, cancer, diabetics, compromised immunity, etc. This must be avoided by making good pro-active decisions or effectively managed.
So, one needs to be self-aware and extremely cautious to not invite low-level stress into their lives. One can do that by learning “How to make good effective decisions” with confidence that eliminates any decision remorse. Use the DIEEMA decision maker to use a structured step-by-step process of making good decisions.
Guide to Decision Making | DIEEMA Decision Maker
Here, it is important to clarify that there is a difference between decisions and intended outcomes. You can control your decisions, but do not have full control of intended outcomes especially involving other people or systems. Most people experience remorse when the outcomes are not favorable and attribute it by default to a bad decision they made.
It is important to understand that you can have unfavorable outcomes even with good decisions and favorable outcomes with bad decisions by luck. This understanding is key to eliminating decision remorse.
In my upcoming post, I am going to talk about how to eliminate decision remorse and discuss each cause and remedy in depth. Stay tuned.
Now your turn:
What other symptoms of decision remorse can you suggest? Please provide your comments below.
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